Alan Lewis
Elon, North Carolina
March 2024
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—34 and his interests are divided.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.
39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. (I Corinthians 7:25-40 NIV)
We have been studying Corinthians 7. This is our fourth week in this chapter. It is one of the longest chapters in I Corinthians. It begins the second part of the book.
In the second part of the book, Paul answers questions about all kinds of topics. This doesn’t just give answers to their questions.
It gives answers from an actual apostle of Jesus Christ. These are not just answers to questions. They are inspired answers.
The first series of questions deals with personal relationships. Many people have questions about relationships. This is the one chapter of the Bible that deals with it.
It seems like a strange chapter to us today. It deals with virgins. Jesus told a parable about ten virgins. We don’t have too many of those today.
Not too many exist. We have many single people but most of them are not virgins. We talk about technical virgins but not too many virgins.
In this chapter, Paul answers the question, is it better to be married or to be single? That is one of the most important decisions that you will ever make. Of course, there is no right or wrong answer to that question.
Paul did not give any commands. He did NOT command everyone to get married. He did NOT command everyone to stay single, but he gave some advice.
Paul gave a command about divorce, but he did NOT give a command about whether people should get married or not get married.
Pastoral Counseling
In I Corinthians 7, we do not see Paul the apostle. We do not see Paul the preacher. We see Paul the counselor. Paul does some pastoral counseling in this chapter. He gives counseling to three groups of people.
1) Counseling for singles
Case number one deals with premarital counseling. It deals with counseling for the unmarried and widows (I Corinthians 7:8-9).
Paul addresses whether they should get married or remarried. He said, “It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do” (I Corinthians 7:8 NIV).
Many think they can only be happy if they are married. Paul was single and he loved it. He recommended other people to be single as well, but he doesn’t forbid marriage, if you feel called to marriage and fell that is God’s will for your life.
Paul does not say that you can’t get married. He said that everyone has different gifts from God (I Corinthians 7:7). You are allowed to get married, as long as you marry a believer (I Corinthians 7:39).
2) Counseling for the married
Case number two involves marriage counseling (I Corinthians 7:10ff.). Paul addresses sex in marriage. He addresses problems in marriage. He addresses divorce. He addresses what you should do if your spouse leaves you.
3) Counseling for the engaged
Case number three deals with the engaged. It deals with people pledged to be married or what they were called in Bible times “betrothed” (I Corinthians 7:27ff.)
This was not like an engagement today. Betrothal was a binding contract that was taken very seriously in that day.
The only way to break off betrothal was through divorce. Couples in biblical times who were betrothed were considered legally married.
A Translation IssueThere is a translation issue in I Corinthians 7:38. We do not know if it is talking about a father and daughter or a man and his fiancée. The KJV believes it refers to a man and his daughter. So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better (I Corinthians 7:38 NKJV). In Paul’s day, there were arranged marriages. Most commentators and translators believe this is talking about a man and his girlfriend. That is the way the NIV takes it. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better (I Corinthians 7:38 NIV). |
Paul says if two people are engaged and their passions are too strong and they feel they ought to marry, they should get married. They are not sinning. On the other hand, if they decide not to get married, they also do the right thing.
Paul concludes with these words. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better (I Corinthians 7:38 NIV). He said something that no pastor ever says to couples.
When a Christian couple is madly in love and planning on getting married, they come to a pastor for premarital counseling. They want to do it right. If they are both believers, no pastor would recommend that they stay single.
No pastor would ever say, “You would be better off if you don’t get married, because you will have more problems and headaches if you choose to get married. It is too hard.”
That is precisely what Paul said. Why? Many throughout church history have misinterpreted what Paul said. They think that if you are single, you are holier.
That is why Catholics have monasteries. It is why they have nuns. It is why their priests are not able to get married. He did not say this because marriage is BAD but because marriage is HARD.
Paul told people not to get married, not because they would be holier but so they would be happier. Paul said, “In my judgment, she is HAPPIER if she stays as she is” (I Corinthians 7:40 NIV). That is how the chapter ends.
Why would she be happier? Paul says that if you are married, you will have trouble in this life. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this (I Corinthians 7:28).
Jimmy Evans said, “Leave it to the Apostle Paul to speak hard truths.”[1] Paul does not sugar-coat things. He does not romanticize marriage.
Paul says if you get married, you will not just have troubles. You will have MANY TROUBLES. It makes you wonder if Paul used to be married. It makes you wonder if he knew about these troubles from experience.
Paul does not give us the Hallmark version of marriage but what Paul says is true. The honeymoon stage does not last forever. Marriage is a blessing, but it is also a challenge. It can be hard. It can be difficult.
Spouses sometimes fight. They sometimes yell at each other. Sometimes, they can’t stand each other. This is the raw truth about marriage. Every couple planning on getting married should agree to stay married through the good times and the bad times.
In each of the three cases Paul said the same thing. He said to stay in the state God called you. Paul says Christians should stay single. They should not immediately rush off and try to get married.
They should only get married if they are completely miserable being single, don’t have the gift to be single and feel that God is calling them to be married. For some people, remaining in a single state will only cause them to sin.
If you are married, Paul says to stay married, even if you have a difficult marriage. Stay in the situation, even if it is hard. Paul says to stay married even if you are married to an unbeliever.
Today, we are not going to look at this final section of the chapter verse-by-verse. Paul makes the same point all through the chapter and we have already covered it. This is our fourth lesson in I Corinthians 7.
Today, we are going to look at these three important principles: the time principle, the use principle and the care principle.
These are three practical principles for daily living. This passage is all about living in light of eternity. That applies to marriage, but it applies to every other thing in life. It applies to everything that we do.
The Time Principle
The first principle is the time principle. Paul says something very important about time in the passage. He says, “the time is short” (I Corinthians 7:29 NIV). It is running out. If it was short in Paul’s day, it is really short two thousand years later. What would he say today?
What does he mean by that? Our lives are short. We do not know how much longer we have to live. We may not live another day. We do not know what is going to happen tomorrow.
The Bible says that our lives are a vapor. They are “a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14).
The older we get, the more we see this. I look back and it was not that long ago that I was in college. It was not that long ago that my wife and I were home taking care of five kids. Now, they are all out of the house and we have grandkids, but Paul means something else.
Time is short, not just because our lives our short but because Jesus is coming back soon. Paul says, “For this world in its present form is passing away” (I Corinthians 7:31 NIV).
The Apostle Peter says that this world one day is going to burn up. Jesus said that heaven and earth will pass away (Matthew 24:35).
What is the application? We don’t have a whole lot of time on this earth to do the things that we need to do.
The time principle says that time is short. We need to make the best use of our time and not waste our life. Paul says that we are to redeem the time (Ephesians 5:16).
The Use Principle
From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. (I Corinthians 7:29-31 NIV)
The second principle is the use principle. We are to use the world, not abuse it. Paul says, “Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them” (I Corinthians 7:31 NLT).
Now, Paul does NOT say that we are not to use the world. He doesn’t say that the world is so evil that you can’t use anything in it. We live in the world. We can be in it but not of it. We can use it but not abuse it.
There are all kinds of things we abuse today. Some abuse food. Some abuse alcohol. Some abuse medication. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but some abuse them.
Some use money and some abuse it. Some make a god out of money. They worship money. Some use social media and some abuse it.
Some abuse the internet. They use it for things they shouldn’t. They use it to access porn.
Some use their cell phones. Some abuse them. They are always on it. They are addicted to it.
Paul mentions four common aspects of life today. These are four things that some use and some abuse or use to excess. Paul mentions marriage, grief, joy and shopping.
These four things are almost universal. Everyone does not get married, but everyone gets happy. Even depressed people cheer up once a year for their birthday.
Everyone gets sad. Everyone has been to a funeral. Everyone buys some things. We have to eat. We make all kinds of purchases. Paul mentions marriage, mourning, merriment and merchandise.[2]
There is nothing wrong with any of them. There is nothing wrong with getting married. There is nothing wrong with going on a honeymoon. There is nothing wrong with being really happy and celebrating.
There is nothing wrong with getting sad and bawling your eyes out. Even Jesus wept. He did not just weep in private. He wept out loud in public. People heard him.
The Bible says that “There is a time for everything” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)
It says that there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh” (Ecclesiastes 3:4 NIV)
So what exactly is Paul’s point? All of these things are good. None of these things should be worshiped. None of them should be put first in our life.
1) Marriage should not be first
Paul says that “those who have wives should live as if they do not.” That is some husband’s favorite verse. It is one passage never read by preachers during a wedding ceremony. What does that mean?
He is not saying to neglect or ignore your spouse. He is telling husbands not to talk to their wives or spend any time with them.
He is not telling husbands to run around with other women and pretend they are not married. He is not telling husbands to abandon their responsibility to their wife and kids.
How do we know? That would contradict what he said in the first part of the chapter when Paul gave instructions to husbands and wives (I Corinthians 7:2-5).
Paul is saying that marriage is important, but it should not be the main thing in your life. It should not be the number one priority in your life. If it is, it is idolatry.
Our relationship with Jesus is more important than our relationship with our spouse. Marriage is temporary. It is until death. We won’t be married in the next life.
I have been married for thirty-six years. It is a little sad to think that marriage is temporary, but it is. My wife is probably looking forward to when the fool is gone.
Many commit idolatry in marriage. They depend on the other person to find happiness and fulfillment. Their spouse takes the place of God.
Some use their marriage as an excuse not to serve God. One man told me “I don’t come to church because I am working on my marriage.”
Paul never says that you cannot be a Christian if you are married but the most important thing in your life should be your relationship with Jesus.
It is more important than your relationship with your husband. It is more important than your relationship with your wife.
Paul said, “for me to live is Christ” (Philippians 1:21 NIV). Could we say what Paul said? Paul said that from a Roman prison.
Is Jesus the most important think in our life? Paul lived for Jesus. Jesus was the center of his life.
It is important to have a marriage ministry in your church. It is important to have strong marriages but there is a problem with many marriage ministries. I know from experience. I have been involved in them.
In many marriage ministries, the focus is just on marriage. They study one marriage book and then another and another. That is all they study.
They would never study the Bible, just books about marriage and many of those books are not based on the Bible but on psychology and worldly wisdom.
David McGee said, “If you want to work on your marriage, put God first and watch what he does. if you want to destroy your marriage, put your marriage first and watch it fall apart.”[3]
2) Mourning should not be first
Paul said that those who mourn are to mourn as if they did not. What does this mean? Is he saying that we should not mourn? Is he saying that never be sad? No. He says, “those who mourn, as if they did not.”
Is he saying that those who mourn should pretend they are not mourning? No. Paul’s point is that mourning is appropriate at times. Solomon said that there is a time to weep.
There is a time to mourn but mourning should not be excessive. There is a time to weep but if you do it all of the time, it is excessive.
3) Happiness should not come first
It is not a sin to be happy. Paul is not saying that we should not be happy, but some people put their personal happiness first.
For many people, their goal in life is to be happy. I know one woman who divorced her husband without biblical grounds. Why did she do it? She said that God wanted her to be happy.
Jesus said that the way to be happy is not to put yourself first but last. He said, “If you want to be first, be a servant.” Paul said that those who are happy are to live as if they were not.
4) Commerce should not come first
Many put business first in their life. They put making money first. They put getting rich first. The goal is material prosperity. The goal is not material or financial success.
Paul said, “Those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep.” That does not mean that we do not own things or buy things. He does not say that possessions are bad. We can have goods, but goods should not have us.
The Worry Principle
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—34 and his interests are divided.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
What is the third principle mentioned by Paul? This is an application for me. Many of us tend to worry about things. Paul says we are to live our lives free from concern or free from worry.
Do you worry about things? Jesus said, “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear” (Matthew 6:25 NIV).
Marriage can cause worry. There are more responsibilities. There are more mouths to feed, especially if you have five kids, like we did. The truth is that you can be married and worry. You can be single and worry about things. We are to live a worry-free life.
What have we learned from our passage? Time is short. We need to make the most of it. Jesus should come first in our life. He is coming back soon. We should not be too attached to things and should live a care-free life, fully devoted to God.
[1] https://xomarriage.com/articles/an-optimistic-view-of-marriage/
[2] John G. Butler, Analytical Bible Expositor: I & II Corinthians (Clinton, IA: LBC Publications, 2009), 70–71.
[3]https://www.youareloved.org/Media/select.php?request=select&id=2124&teacher=Pastor%20David%20McGee&title=1+Corinthians+7:26-31+Time+is+Not+on+Your+Side&play_type=audio
